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May 25, 2007, Newsletter Issue #32: Why Do Partners Lie?
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Tip of the Week
People lie to preserve something they value -- their self-esteem, their peace of mind, their meal ticket. So the real question is not "Why did he lie?" but "What is he protecting?" Instead of becoming a human lie-detector test, it's often more productive to look at the overall pattern of keeping secrets. Does this person deceive family members, friends, employers? You may have a compulsive liar on your hands, someone who uses lying as a survival tool and needs significant work and help before she is ready to be truly honest in a relationship.
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