Red Flags

There are some situations in which is is impossible to have a fair fight. In these cases you may need to remove yourself from the situation, either temporarily or permanently. They include:

-- When one partner is active in an addiction. A partner who is in recovery may be gaining the skills needed for managing resolution/index.html">conflict, but for the active addict, no relationship will ever be more important than the next fix.

-- When physical or emotional abuse has made one partner afraid of the other. No one can fight fairly or establish healthy boundaries in an atmosphere of fear.

-- When one or both partners are suffering from untreated anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses. Be aware that treatment, whether with drugs or therapy or both, may take time to take effect.