Under the Surface

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What are some of the underlying issues in couples' conflicts?

Under the Surface

Sometimes, it seems like your partner is getting angry about the smallest things, or nothing at all. It may seem like a good idea to hide or ignore the conflict, but it may be better to ask, "What's really going on here?"
When your partner is relatively calm, it may be helpful to talk about what's happening in both your lives. Do you both have goals and interests of your own? Do you support one another's goals and interests?

People sometimes pick fights about little things when they're resentful about big things. Anxiety about a job or a relative's illness may get transformed into unfounded accusations of cheating or having an online affair. Start by looking at your partner's life. Is there something you can do -- changing a schedule, finding money for a class, even just saying "thank you -- to make it better?

   

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