Read this tip to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Honesty and Trust and other Infidelity topics.
People lie to preserve something they value -- their self-esteem, their peace of mind, their meal ticket. So the real question is not "Why did he lie?" but "What is he protecting?"
Instead of becoming a human lie-detector test, it's often more productive to look at the overall pattern of keeping secrets. Does this person deceive family members, friends, employers? You may have a compulsive liar on your hands, someone who uses lying as a survival tool and needs significant work and help before she is ready to be truly honest in a relationship.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|