Before the Confrontation

It's happened. You've made an effort detecting trust/index.html">deception of your partner, and you've found evidence of deception, a big one. Maybe Mr. I've-Stopped-Gambling slipped and left today's race program in the car. Maybe Ms. Fidelity was seen by a trusted friend leaving the No-Tell Motel with that guy from Accounting that she swore she didn't like.

Before you start screaming, give some thought to what you want to accomplish from this scenario. Do you want to stay with this person? Do you want an amicable breakup? Would you stay with your partner if he or she went to couples counseling and wrote an apology letter? It's possible that these decisions will change based on your partner's side of the story, but setting goals can prevent hasty decision-making.