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There is an art to lying. People who are compulsive liars can be good at it with their words, gestures and signals. If you are concerned about whether your partner is lying to you watch and listen to what they are saying and how they say it.
- Do gestures match what is said? Does someone say “I love you” and then frown or look away at the same time?
- A lying person gets defensive quickly. A liar is uncomfortable facing questions and may turn their head.
- Lying people usually don't use contractions in the lying statement. For example “Did you go to the strip club with your friends?” The lying answer could be “No I did not go to the strip club with my friends.” The answer does not include a contraction ‘didn't' and they are repeating back the question exactly.
- Lying people are uncomfortable with silence. They feel the need to fill the quiet with made up details. This is a sign of too much information.
Another tip for catching your partner in a lie is to ask them to repeat back the entire story from the end to the beginning. If people are lying, they have only memorized the story from beginning to end and can't repeat the same story from other way.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|