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Being betrayed by your partner is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. If you want to save the partnership or marriage, it is necessary to rebuild trust and gain back respect. There are some things to keep in mind to help you in the rebuilding process.
- Make a decision. If you want to save the marriage, making the decision to trust again starts the healing process. Worrying and waffling about what to do just makes things worse.
- Face your feelings and let go of the anger. Write down your thoughts and get out all of your negative emotions on paper. If you wish, burn the paper and let it go up in smoke so it is released into the universe.
- Don't forget to take care of yourself during these tough emotional times. Eat healthy, drink a lot of water, stay away from alcohol and exercise. Try to laugh as much as possible.
- Don't be mistrustful of everyone. If someone has violated your trust, it doesn't mean everyone will.
- Allow yourself to go through a grief process. Even if you work on saving the marriage, your relationship will not be the same. It could be better but not the same so it could feel like a death has occurred.
The biggest process in regaining trust is to trust yourself first. If you trust yourself, you will make the right decisions and be guided to do the right things to save the relationship.
Yes being betrayed is the worst pain and what's even worst is it's chronic as the pain keeps coming back, each time triggered by memories of the affair. Almost 10 yrs since I discovered my husband's 4yrs affair I still struggle with trust and the marriage (35 yrs). Unsure of his fidelity.Trust ??
My husband of 40 years has betrayed me. I never had any idea he was cheating on me & has been all these years. He left me & is living with his ex-wife. He has cheated me financially. He gave his son power of attorney back in 2002 & I have found out he has been cheating with others also. The pain is sometime unbearable. He thought I was going to become an invalid but I had double knee surgery & have fully recovered. I am 75 years old & in the middle of a horrific divorce. Its me vs. him & all his family. I will prevail.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|