Read this tip to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Honesty and Trust and other Infidelity topics.
It isn't easy for people to trust again once infidelity has been discovered. Especially in marriage, a sacred bond may be easy to break but not so easy to repair. In order to rebuild trust, try looking at the problem through spiritual eyes.
- Forgiveness is necessary in order to trust the spouse again. Forgiving someone does not mean you are saying that infidelity is ok. However, without forgiveness, there will be no trust in the future.
- Honest communication must begin. An intimate conversation about the true reason behind the infidelity helps to rebuild the trust. There are many reasons why partners are unfaithful, this is a time to be honest with yourself and then be honest with your partner.
- Accept the spouse for who they are. During the time of rebuilding trust, it is not a time to beat the spouse over the head with attitude. Be open and let your spouse be vulnerable to who they really are.
- Rebuilding trust takes time. Don't rush this process by setting deadlines. Show the spouse that you can trust them and commit yourself to a long-term process.
Partners have to want the marriage to work in order for trust to come back. When couples dig deep and do the work required to ‘fix' the problems that compelled the partner to become unfaithful, real trust can come back.
My husband has lied to me countless time in the past 16 years. From his porn addiction to communication with ex-girlfriend and setting up meeting dates with them. I have been hurt countless times and each time for the sake of our marriage and one child I forgave him. This has been a tough through out the 16 years. We both have seen therapist and some have said divorce others helped the communication to work again, but I guess I am just tired and now our son is 14 and I want and deserve more. I feel angry, mad, fed-up, and disappointed that I even believed in his deceptive words countless times. This morning I woke up and told him I don't want to be married to him right now. Right now I choose me. For the first time I am focusing on me. I am tired of going to therapist and restarting again and again only to be lied to again. I CHOOSE ME TODAY!!!!
|Sheri Ann Richerson|