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Infidelity is devastating in a relationship, but not all infidelity is about the physical act of sex. The emotionally cheating spouse has given up on the marriage in thought, word and deed. Emotional cheating to some people is worse than physical infidelity. Women are quicker to forgive a physical one-night stand than if the man emotionally cares for the other woman. For women, emotions are much stronger than the physical act so it's even more difficult to save the marriage. Is a marriage salvageable if the emotional infidelity is ongoing?
The non-offending spouse may decide to win the other spouse back. They beg, make promises, arrange for dates and try anything to show they care. This usually doesn't work because it may be too late. Emotional needs are already being fulfilled somewhere else. The spouse can come off as needy and this is a sure way to drive the spouse into the arms of the other person. One of the best things the non-offending spouse can do is to back off and give the other partner room to think and breathe. Give your spouse the opportunity to realize that the affair may not be all it's cracked up to be and not the answer to her needs. This is an opportunity for your relationship with each other to grow if you have the courage to step back and give it time.
Today, I decided to back off, give up, pick me this time. My husband has a sex addiction and after 16 years I pushed him to go to SA meetings. This time it is different. I feel emotionally done. I cancelled our marriage therapist appointment (we only went to one) He is still going to his SA meeting and his one separate therapist, but I feel done. I am now focusing on me.
I know the sites on Internet are my competition & I am losing the battle. After raising 3kids,small horse & cattle business, I now have health issues but am "not paying my share".
|Sheri Ann Richerson|