Repairing the Damage After Infidelity

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We've decided to stay together despite the affair. Can this work?

Repairing the Damage After Infidelity

The time following the disclosure of infidelity is a delicate one, and both partners in a relationship may be feeling bruised and uncertain. You may feel concerned about future cheating, and want to implement an infidelity test or emotional boundaries. Some ideas for easing the pressure:

-- The partner who was cheated on may want to go over things again and again, asking for the smallest details of the other woman's or man's appearance, what happened between them, etc. The cheating partner should be patient with this -- it's part of a process of trying to understand what went wrong -- but should also focus on the feelings involved.

-- The partner who cheated should make an extra effort to be truthful and dependable in the smallest things. If you say you'll pick up the dry cleaning, do it.

-- Plan some extra time alone together and try to spend it having positive experiences.

When infidelity comes to light, the parter who was cheated on will likely perform an infidelity test in one form or another. It is important that both partners express appreciation for one another's efforts during this time.



6/30/2006 1:00:15 AM
Dahlia said:

The person who cheated needs to understand that what hurts the most, is the 'lost of trust'. It may take a long time to rekindle the bond you once had. Understand, that you have to provide a comfort until the wounds have been healed.

6/16/2008 6:54:12 AM
Bob said:

Five years ago I found out my then fiancee (now my wife) cheated on me several times during our engagement.We have been married twenty years and have young children, so I decided to stay in the marriage for their sake. She has no idea what her cheating has cost her. The trust is gone and will never return. So is the love. We live cordial if separate lives. If only cheaters knew the cost of their betrayal and deceit before they look out for themselves, perhaps they would think more of others?


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