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Cheating can happen in any relationship and at any time. “It is estimated that 53% of all people will have one or more affairs during their lifetime”. Partners in healthy relationships don't suspect affairs, but there are tell tale signs of infidelity. If your intuition tells you that something is wrong in the relationship and you suspect your partner of infidelity, these guidelines may help you determine the truth.
- Cheaters often feel guilty after an affair and they become very attentive to the spouse. This attentive behavior can appear unexpectedly or be out of character. However, a cheating spouse may lose all attentiveness or interest in the home and family.
- A cheater often spends more money so keep an eye on credit card statements, check stubs and bank account balances.
- Monitor the spouse for a few weeks. Keep track of mileage on the car and phone them at work. Keep a journal of your findings to establish a pattern.
- Listen at home when the phone rings. If the spouse is whispering, gives quick answers or hangs up immediately your suspicion should be aroused.
- Check the phone number register on your spouse's cell phone. Is there a frequently called number that isn't familiar to you?
- Hygienic habits may change when there is infidelity. A cheater may workout more, buy new clothes or switch perfumes.
I agree with all of the statements that are made in the above list, but the one thing that is not being put into the equation is what do you do if your spouse is hiding all of those things from you? My husband does not allow me into his van, he keeps all of his funds and moneys hidden from me to where I am only allowed to know what he lets me know. He keeps his entire life a secret. There is the life he has with me and the kids and the life he has outside of us. What are we supposed to do in that situation? Do you ever walk into a room with his friends and get the distinct feeling that they know something that you don't yet there is no one to tell you? I never see any suggestions of what to do in situations like these. Any help would be appreciated.