Relationship Conflicts Teach Us Lessons

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Relationship Conflicts Teach Us Lessons

What are the first two reactions couples have in relationship conflicts? They will stay and confront the situation or they will run away. This is the typical fight or flight response. We have this instinct within us when it comes to problems and crisis. According to Dr. Margaret Paul, “ Conflict does not get resolved when the stress response takes over. Learn how to manage conflict in loving ways and to heal the fear that activates your fight or flight response.”

There are some techniques and strategies to stay and calmly resolve any relationship conflict. The first moment of tense conflict between two people requires a breathing time. Walk away from the situation for a few minutes and become grounded. This isn't running away, you are collecting your thoughts and keeping emotions at bay. When you are calm, any conflict can be resolved without fights, shouting, accusations or blame.

Every problem has a reason behind it. There are no accidents in life, so look deep within and try to see what the problem is trying to teach you. If you have a relationship crisis about money, are you really feeling insecurities about love? If you have conflicts regarding the children, are old patterns of how your parents treated you coming to the surface? Learn from conflict by removing the fear and you will soon heal the problem and the conflict will be resolved.



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Phyllis Serbes